We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
