she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
But theres a keg here and me gusta
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
