I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
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