so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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