Please, let me fuck your mom
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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