well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
