I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
