OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
