Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
