Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
