i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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