God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
