That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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