I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
