I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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