So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
