Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
