My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
