I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
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