he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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