I am in a vortex of obligation.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I'm too high and old for this...
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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