Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize