Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
