He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
