Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
