i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
