So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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