I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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