where am i from again
I forgot how hot balto sounded
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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