The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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