Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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