i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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