absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
love makes seman taste better
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
