so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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