im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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