Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
