He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
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I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
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Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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