I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I showed him my bush... on skype.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
