Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize