im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
