My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
