No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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