there was a trapeze. enough said
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
