Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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