The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I supernannyed him into submission
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
