He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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