Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
