Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize