Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
