so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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