One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
