I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
