There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
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