ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
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